Last week someone close to me took his own life, unexpectedly. I wish I could have had this conversation with him before he made that fatal decision, but this conversation didn’t have a chance to happen.
If you have considered suicide, or are seriously considering it right now, I beg you to please take a few minutes and read on.
I am not a medical professional, or a trained counselor–just someone who cared for a friend and would give anything to have a chance to share this conversation, give him a big hug and beg him to reconsider. These are just a few thoughts, and what’s on my mind several days after losing my young friend. I’m still processing, brokenhearted and in shock.
Please consider just a few things:
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You are very precious to God.
The whole Bible is a love story from God to us. A story of redemption–the great lengths He went to in order to remedy the effect that sin has on us and make a way for us to be with Him. I could point to many scriptures that demonstrate His love and value for you, but this one deeply touches my heart and makes me aware that He created you, has a purpose for you, and didn’t make any mistake putting you on this earth.
Psalm 139:13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
Psalm 139:15-16 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
God had you in mind at least thousands (if not more) years ago and had a perfect plan for your life . . .
Your family and friends love you and want to help.
If you care about your loved ones, give some thought to what they will think, feel and what they will have to do after you’re gone. . . People that love you will grieve and struggle in a different way than when a loved one dies from natural causes. They will most likely be turning these thoughts over and over in their minds, “I should have done _______.”, “If I had known, I would have helped more.”, “Why didn’t I notice that he was struggling so much?”
I hope these thoughts I have fade in time, but then again, I hope they don’t. More than anything, I want to love the people God puts in my life, support them, and lead them to Jesus. Remaining acutely aware of the struggles of people around me, draws me to prayer and compassion and hopefully to help them in any way that I can.
Many people will be impacted by your decision
I’ve got to be honest on this point. It’s a struggle for me to write this, but a good friend who has wrestled with addiction, anxiety and depression encouraged me to be truthful and share this. . .
Please think about the people who will be involved if you should choose to end your life, and what troubled minds and hearts they will have as a result. First Responders, the coroner, insurance agents, trauma scene clean-up crews, your landlord and neighbors just to name a few. Then there are the people that are closest to you: your family and friends. The impact is widespread, and as I shared earlier, their grief and struggle will be so much greater than experiencing the loss of a loved one through natural causes.
Your situation is NOT hopeless (even though it seems that way).
In your own mind are many swirling thoughts–many of them are LIES. Satan, the devil, is active and working even though you can’t see him. Consider 1Peter 5:8 Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. And. John 8:44b (the second part of the verse, speaking of Satan) He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies So, don’t believe these thoughts, pray, pray pray, and reach out for help. If that means having to reveal an addiction or a hurt from your past, reveal the truth–help is available and people won’t judge you as much as you may think. You have reason to hope.
The first scriptures I memorized were Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
No burden is too great for Him to carry and He wants to relieve your burden and save you. Only He can do that! Romans 10:9 says: If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. Take your heavy, troubled heart to Jesus, friend. Believe that He took all your sins (things that are an offense against God), in His own body. He died, and came back to life, having paid the full price for your sins. That’s why He alone can save you. He paid the ultimate sacrifice for you–He wants you to bring your worries, fears, and despair to Him. My prayer is that you believe this with your whole heart and act on this truth.
If you feel that you are at the end of yourself, take action to protect yourself. Remove anything from your possession that you might turn to in your weakest moment (guns, drugs, etc.) Tell someone what you are thinking and ask for help. For the suicide hotline, click here
You are precious and valuable to God and to your loved ones. Please don’t give up! Please don’t give up!
If I may add a few thoughts…
For families and friends of a person who might be considering suicide or dealing with depression, there are a few things you can keep in mind that will be helpful. If your family member or friend indicates thoughts of suicide, please don’t respond with anger or lectures. Be willing to listen without judgment, and if the person is unable to talk about it, just be with them offering support and love. If you feel unable to cope with the strong feelings the person may be having, give assurance of your unconditional love and help him/her find the emergency numbers for suicide prevention or local suicide prevention support. But please, don’t respond with anger, threats, lectures or jokes. These block communication and isolate the person in need. Mental illness is every bit as debilitating as physical illness.
Thank you for sharing those valuable thoughts! I completely agree. I view mental illness like any other illness, such as cancer or diabetes. I may not be able to see a physical sign of the illness that is there, but it is very real and debilitating. Support for the person who struggles is of the highest importance. Treating them with love and respect and walking alongside them is so valuable. They may never share with anyone else and you may be the only person that they trust. Reassurance of how loved and valuable they are is crucial. The suicide prevention line is in my post several times, as I’m hoping for many to find the help they need when they are in crisis. Thanks again and God bless!!